Jun 18, 2013

If matches are made in heaven, why do we go through hell finding them?Part 1

More often than not I have heard people telling me "don't worry baby, you'll find the right guy...you know marriages are made in heaven" and every time my mental response is "why are you then giving me a hell of time in my quest?"

Ones who are engaged or married, please ignore the post and the series that will follow. You have found your match, and I know you will not want to give your partners brownie point by discussing this.

Others, if you are lucky enough to have a partner whom you know will not leave your side, please do not dump them. (Probably you'll be convinced by the end of the series)

And for the ones like me, whose parents have taken the responsibility of finding a match, this is an attempt to tell you that you are not alone in this madness.

At this point I'd like to add a disclaimer that by no means this post is suppose to demean the arrange marriage system, or disrespect our parents... It is just a compilation of the process, the projected truth, the profit and loss statement and the reality...

So the process starts with really encouraging (read nagging) relatives...who get some recommendations or otherwise just coax parents into realisation that their child is marriageable age... This depends on your luck that at what age it starts for you.

What follows is the exchange of bio datas, the compilation of which can put IIT or IIM to shame at times. There is no better way to asses the immense knowledge our country has. The detailing that is required to analyse different bio-datas often make me think of starting a professional analysing services or training school.

Taking a break from the process, and switching to projections and reality- with deep analysis of various bio-data from different part of world, it can be said that almost 90%of population loves to read, travel (males), cook (females) and listen to music. (Now you know why I am seriously thinking of a blogging career)

Also, 99% are good looking, average built, good mannered, mature and sincere. (Guess India has zero contribution to global obesity rate)

A majority, approx 75% are professional degree holders (MBAs, Engineers and Doctors most common) (I am not surprised, it's Indian majority at Silicon Valley)

Almost everyone wants a smart, independent, charming, loving and caring partner. (I want to remind the aspirants of  a version of our great epic Mahabharata, where draupadi had to live with five husbands in  order to get five qualities she desired)

Almost no boy or girl in India drinks or smokes at all. (At this rate, the government will have to soon suffer huge losses from lack of consumption of alcohol and ciggarette)

There are many more common points like complexion, sound family background, etc. but now we'll leave that to junior analysts.

Next in the process comes the kundli. For those who don't know what it is, it is horoscope written at the time of the birth of a child, stating his/her future in this big world. What is the purpose? It's purpose is to match it with the to be partners kundli and see if they can live together or not. (I don't need a special school here, because the pandits in India are already the expert analysts, and windows offer a free software for the same purpose)

So when the kundli's are matched, it's seldom that there are any perfect matches..( haven't we known that already, opposites attract). However, in the world where there are no perfect matches, there are attempt to set the match right.

What follows is series of prayers, offerings, fasting or rejections. (Firm believers, I am sorry but I didn't know better way to put it)

Therefore, the prospective groom or brides are shortlisted...

(I am sorry I will have to break it up and continue it in next post, I don't want to discourage anyone completely in one go...keep following, to be continued)

Ps. Meanwhile pray that my parents or my prospective in laws don't get to read it ;)

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